Friday, December 21, 2012


I was judgmental. Oh, was I ever. Why isn't the mom in the grocery store spanking her kid? ...What??! Your three-year-old still sleeps in bed with you? YOU STILL BREASTFEED YOUR THREE YEAR OLD? Ew! The list can go on.

But then I had my perfect, fuzzy, chubby, little bundle of joy and (much to my husband's disdain) everything I said I'd NEVER do went out the window.

Whether you need a name or not, it's attachment parenting. Read up on it, but it's basically reading your child's cues when she's hungry or tired, breastfeeding, baby wearing, co-sleeping (though we room-in instead), and whatever other kind of label you want to put on it.
I see it as this: A mother's primal instinct. I know what's right, I know it is, deep within me, and I know this sounds asshole-ish, but I really don't care what anyone else thinks!

I get angry when people tell me that she doesn't need to be held all the time, I get angry when people tell me that she doesn't need to be held for a nap, and I get angry when I'm told that I need to be away from her. Basically, I get angry a lot.
But, who made up these rules anyway??? Society!
And society, you are wrong! Oh are you wrong!

Another blogger put it best: Mom's in the stone ages slept next to their babies so they wouldn't get eaten, they put them in a sling and carried them around with them because that was the only way.. etc. And though we're not in the stone ages anymore, nobody texted baby in utero and told them.... (ok that's not a direct quote, and if I had the link I'd totes stick it in here, so dear blogger if you're the writer, e-mail me and I'll source ya!)

Anywhoo my point is this: Babies still have this primal need. And thank goodness my primal instinct kicked in and I woke up from all the bullshit that society makes you think is "right." Babies need all of these things, and call it attachment parenting or not, it's what's right for my baby and I!

All of the studies that have been done on attachment parenting show a benefit (!) in the development of the baby. (Imagine that!)
Guess what: Attachment parenting actually promotes independence.. hmmm!
There are so many benefits. psychological and physiological, and I will leave links at the end if you're interested in further reading.

  • is more trusting
  • feels more competent
  • grows better
  • feels right, acts right
  • is better organized
  • learns language more easily
  • establishes healthy independence
  • learns intimacy
  • learns to give and receive love
  • become more confident
  • are more sensitive
  • can read baby's cues
  • respond intuitively
  • flow with baby's temperament
  • find discipline easier
  • become keen observers
  • know baby's competencies and preferences
  • know which advice to take and which to disregard
Parents and baby experience:
  • mutual sensitivity
  • mutual giving
  • mutual shaping of behavior
  • mutual trust
  • feelings of connectedness
  • more flexibility
  • more lively interactions
  • brings out the best in each other

So don't you "worry" your pretty little head;
She is not going to become overly dependent, she is not going to breastfeed until she's 9, and she's certainly not going to be sleeping in my bed at the age of 21.
But she is going to grow up a confident, smart, secure, independent young woman.

I will not be told what is "right" by society's standards, and I know I will make mistakes as a parent, but I will parent the best way I know how: from my heart!

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