Sunday, October 21, 2012

Two words

I'm pretty sure every working mom knows the two words I'm talking about... mommy guilt. Tomorrow I go back to work for a full day. For the last two weeks, I have been working only a few hours here and there, to dip my toes back in the proverbial pool.
But instead of returning to work full time, I will be working two 10.5 hour shifts. I'm lucky that I have family to watch her and that I get to have 5 days at home with her, but I've never left her for that amount of time before, and I'm a worrier by nature. I'd love to stay home with her full-time but the grass is always greener...  I know this is a good thing, I still get to bring in an income, she gets to spend time with someone besides me (which is good for her), and I still get most of the week with her . It still doesn't make it any easier, especially that dreaded first day.
So yesterday I held her all day. I figured she's only this little for a short time, so why not? I held her while she napped, while I ate, while I read to her, talked to her, stared at her, and played with her.. all day. When I went to put her in her bassinet so we could go to bed .."Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah." Hm.. maybe she's hungry. Fed her, changed her, she fell asleep. Back in the bassinet: "WAAAAAH." Uh oh. I glance over and husband is glaring at me. "You're creating a monster." Maybe so, but a cute one.

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